there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
