he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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