things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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