People in love make me want to vomit
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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