How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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