Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
