Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
