Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
