dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
