in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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