Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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