my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
