I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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