Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
