i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
