so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
