And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
