Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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