Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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