wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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