fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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