I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
