Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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