Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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