i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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