I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have fence marks all over my body
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
