Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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