Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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