So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I didn't notice because vodka
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
