i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
