I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize