Just mADE A PArabola og urine
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
