Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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