i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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