I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
