morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
