Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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