that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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