took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
