What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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