On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
try to milk me bitch
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