Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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