D3 body, D1 cock
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
