I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Fuck appropriateness.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
