I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
