my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
