problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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