so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize