Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Yo dont text me then not text me
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
