His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
