You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Randomize
