i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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