Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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