I don't think brook has ever known best
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
