I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
