He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
