someone get that fucking seahorse.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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