I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Found your dick twin last night
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
